This is War
by silver-footsteps
Summary: It started with blue paint and someone with terrible aim. For Readandreview17.


Here's my little present to Readandreview17 for writing the 1000th review to Fancy Footwork. Silliness and teenage antics below.

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This is War

(For Readandreview17)

"Remind me why you're doing this again?" Sakura asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. She stared down at her three friends lying on the floor. Flapping his hand at her, Naruto scowled.

"They'll see us! Get down!" he hissed. Rolling her eyes, Sakura crouched down behind the sofa.

"And we're doing this because Sasuke's stupid brother called me dumb and Sai gay!" Naruto added.

"Actually, he said that your grades could be better and that Sai would have better luck with women if he wasn't so brutally honest," Sakura corrected. It was Sasuke's turn to glare at her.

"And my brother's a dick in general, Sakura. It's just some harmless pranks," Sasuke scoffed. Sakura didn't bother to respond as she watched Sai carefully slide the window open. With a water balloon in each hand, they carefully inched their way closer. Two floors below, on the front lawn of their dormitory, there was a group of people lounging about on the grass. Naruto silently counted to three before they launched their balloons on their unsuspecting victims. Water exploded over them in a fantastic explosion of cursing and shouting.

Naruto roared with laughter, clutching at his stomach as he pointed. Looking murderous, their victims looked up and easily found Naruto's face in the window.

"HEY! FRESHMAN!" a blonde one roared, pointing a furious finger at him. Nodding proudly, Sasuke and Sai also looked out the window to reveal their smug faces. Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose between her pointer finger and thumb.

"Morons," she muttered before she stood and walked out of the lounge. Even down the hallway she could hear Naruto still jeering and the blonde screaming his fury from outside.

It was for this incredibly stupid reason that Sakura found herself pinned against the wall between Sasuke and Naruto's arms the next day. The situation was not made better by the fact that Naruto had just come from the gym and smelled rather horrifically of man-sweat.

"What are you two morons doing" she hissed between clenched teeth.

"Shut up. I think they're coming," Sasuke snarled, clamping his hand over her mouth. Glaring, she waited for all of one second before she flicked her tongue against his palm.

"Gross!" Sasuke shouted, furiously wiping his hand against the front of Naruto's shirt.

"Found you," an ominous voice chuckled from behind Sasuke. Sakura promptly raised her hand.

"It was these two morons plus another guy. I'm uninvolved so can I be excused from whatever hell you're about to unleash on them?" she requested. He was extremely tall, blue, buff and had sharp teeth, but he seemed to mull it over for a moment before he nodded graciously and motioned for her to proceed.

"Wait, Sakura. Where are you going?" Naruto demanded. She turned around to stick her tongue out at them.

"Away from you. Bye," she sang before prancing off. During their lecture together one hour later, Sasuke and Naruto, both sporting permanent marker moustaches and monocles, glared and refused to speak to her.

The next week passed in a furious battle of pranks. Someone replaced all the toilet paper in the third floor bathroom with sandpaper. So Sasuke, Naruto and Sai banded together to sneak into the blonde's room (who turned out to be a junior named Deidara) and proceeded to glue all his furniture to the ceiling. The next day, Sasuke and Naruto entered their room and proceeded to have confetti and honey piled on top of them. Even after two showers and some heavy-duty vacuuming, there was still glitter stuck in their hair and carpet.

Sakura watched all this from the sidelines, amused but also a little worried. When Naruto found a frog in his sock drawer, he ran through the dorm screaming.

The next day Deidara's roommate, a quiet man by the name of Sasori, entered the lounge completely covered in shaving cream.

Two weeks after the ridiculous affair had begun Sakura was on her way back to her room from lecture. She paused when she noticed the three idiots hiding behind a bush in front of their dormitory. It was cold and she stuck her hands into the pockets of her white coat as she tiptoed over to them.

"What are you doing?" she inquired. Looking supremely panicked, Naruto made a shushing motion.

"Whatever. Are you guys even attending your classes?" she scoffed. When none of them answered, she sighed and dug into her pocket for her ID card to swipe into the building. A moment later, she felt something knock against the top of her head. Slowly, something cold and slimy began dripping down, covering her hair and face. Sakura could guess what it was from the smell and the looks of utter horror on her friends' faces. Still, she slowly reached up to wipe her eyes and to look down at her hand.

Bright blue paint was staining her fingers, dribbling down onto her coat and shoes. Sakura slowly grabbed the plastic bucket on her head and nudged it off of her. As she blinked against the paint falling into her eyes, she heard a loud hoot of laughter.

"TAKE THAT, YOU ASSHOLES!" Deidara shouted, hanging out from the window on the second floor.

"Holy shit," Naruto whimpered as Sakura swiped into the building and stomped inside. Ignoring the startled looks from passing people, she stormed up to the second floor, yanked the door to the lounge open, and looked. Deidara was still hanging out the window to jeer while Sasuke's brother sat on the sofa while holding another plastic bucket. The blue man, who was called Kisame, stood in front of him, gleefully squirting yellow paint into the bucket.

"Hi," Sakura brightly said before she walked over, grabbed Deidara by the back of the shirt, and shoved him into the wall. Deidara struggled for a moment before he got a good look at her. She could see the horror seeping in as he realized just what had happened.

"Sh-shit. Sorry, dude. That wasn't meant to hit you or anything," he finally said. A tense minute passed before Sakura took her free hand, smeared it liberally with the blue paint coating her hair, and proceeded to rub it roughly against Deidara's face. Only when his forehead and cheeks were smudged with a vibrant shade of sky blue did Sakura release him.

"I hate you," she simply said, shoving him one more time for good measure. Itachi and Kisame were staring at her so she took the opportunity to take the plastic bottle of yellow paint and empty it all over the front of Kisame's white t-shirt and dark jeans.

"I hope you all die horrible, violent deaths and maggots eat your corpses," Sakura added. With a sniff, she turned on her heel and stalked up to the third floor to take a shower.

And it was that moment that Itachi fell completely head over heels for an infuriated girl covered in blue paint.

It was another week before Itachi and his friends encountered the fuming girl named Sakura again. Living in the same building meant that they occasionally caught glimpses of each other. It took a few days for the ridiculous shade of bright azure to wash completely out of her hair but her sour glare directed at him and his companions didn't fade like the paint. The pranking lulled a little as Sasuke and his group was terrified into submission by Sakura's tongue-lashing a day after the paint incident. It had taken place in the room that Naruto and Sasuke shared and nobody had been able to hear anything but Sakura's indistinct shouting and Naruto's pleading whimpers for about half an hour. But after that, the boys were unusually subdued and proceeded to shoot death glares at Itachi and his friends in silent accusation every time they passed each other in the hall.

"Holy- it's freezing outside, Sakura. Why aren't you wearing a jacket?" Ino asked, rubbing her mitten-covered hands together. Pulling her muffler tighter around her face, Sakura glowered as best as she could.

"Because some brilliant little snowflakes got paint all over it and when I took it to the drycleaners, they said I might as well dye the whole freaking thing blue. So now I have to wait until my parents can send a coat here," Sakura growled in response to her roommate.

"That's stupid. You're going to catch a cold like this," Ino sighed as she plucked her mitten off and shoved them into Sakura's icy palms. Muttering her thanks, Sakura stuffed her hands into them and tried not to let her teeth chatter too hard.

At that exact moment, Uchiha Itachi joined them in the bus stop and the already frozen air seemed to drop another thirty degrees. Ino let out a loud sniff and began complaining in a very loud voice about just how freezing the weather was. She then proceeded to exclaim how underdressed Sakura was for the present temperature. Sakura was torn between throwing her arms around her roommate and laughing or just punching her in the face. There was a harried sigh to her right before something settled over her shoulders.

"Just until you get a replacement," she heard Itachi sigh. Looking down slowly, she found his black pea coat draped over her shoulders. And him, now in just a scarf and a sweater, looked straight ahead with the most uncaring expression in the world.

There was no way in hell a guy got to look that cool while still managing to be a jerk.

"I'd rather get hypothermia. But thanks," Sakura snorted, tossing his coat back at him. And with a stubborn pout scrunching up her face, she refused to acknowledge his stare fixated on her until the bus finally arrived.

That afternoon, Sakura burst into Naruto and Sasuke's room with a grim expression.

"We're going to need to buy some more supplies," she said. With a cheer, the boys welcomed her to their scheming.

At precisely 1:28 am, there was an explosion of curse words from the second floor bathroom. Huddled on the staircase with Naruto, she giggled silently. The sound of feet stomping toward them prompted them to duck into Sakura's room and lock the door. Ino, typing up a paper at her desk, spared them an exasperated look before she turned back to her work.

"Plastic wrap on the toilet? Why are you so smart?" Naruto guffawed, knocking his elbow into her side. She tossed her head.

"Because I'm an evil genius," she replied in a posh voice.

The next morning, when Sakura used her hairdryer, flour spurted out of it, coating her damp hair in white. In response, copious amounts of itching powder mysteriously found its way into Deidara and Kisame's underwear drawers. Sasuke's shampoo was replaced with temporary purple dye. Sasori woke up from his nap to find himself taped to a wall. Sakura found a dozen praying mantises inside her backpack. Deidara's left leg ended up completely hairless after a night of particularly vigorous drinking and he couldn't figure out how it had happened.

A month after the fiasco had begun, Sakura stood in front of the dorm, furiously pawing through her bag. She couldn't find her ID card or her cell phone anywhere. She had stayed late at the library to get some real studying done since her dorm had turned into a veritable battleground for pranks. Puffing out a long breath, she craned her neck to look up at the windows. All of them were dark so there was no point in yelling up at someone to come open the door for her. But by some miracle, one of the windows slid open and she recognized Naruto's arm flailing around in a wave.

"Hey!" he whispered in an incredibly loud voice.

"Ino told me you would be back late. Why didn't you call? We would have come pick you up or something?" Naruto demanded. There was a pause and then Sakura saw Sasuke shoving Naruto with his shoulder to look out the window too. He waved once and then let out a big yawn.

"I think I left my phone in my room. Can one of you come open the door for me?" Sakura whispered back. Naruto nodded and then he disappeared. She waited patiently, knowing Naruto would have to half-fall down two flights of stairs before he could reach her. With a triumphant grin, he pushed the door open and gave her a little mock-bow.

"NOW!" a now terribly familiar voice crowed. Without much warning, a bucket of ice water was dumped out from a window on the second floor. Naruto, with his cat-like reflexes, jumped back, managing to get just his foot wet. Sakura, on the other hand, carrying a backpack and two textbooks, managed to catch most of the frigid water right on top of her head.

"Aw, crap. He dodged, yeah!" Deidara complained.

Sakura's neck moved in slow, jerky motions as she looked up. She found Deidara hanging easily out the open window, a large plastic bucket held in his hands. Itachi's face poked out over his shoulder. She watched his dark eyes widen a little before he reached over and shoved Deidara.

"You missed, asshole," Itachi flatly said. Deidara blinked a few times, squinting into the darkness.

"Oh…hehe…hi, Sakura," Deidara finally giggled out in a supremely nervous voice as he realized just who his icy water attack had hit. Shivering and glaring through her soaked hair like an angry cat, Sakura silently stalked up to her room to get some sleep.

Anyone could have predicted that Sakura would get sick the next day. Sleep deprivation and exposure to cold always seemed to be the perfect time for a mean virus to rampage through the body. Ino had noticed something wrong when Sakura hadn't gotten up for her morning run. After, she refused to eat anything at breakfast and simply crawled back into bed, Ino had launched into full-out panic mode.

"SASUKE!" Ino screeched, banging on the door just a few rooms away from hers.

"Shut up, Ino. I have a 2:15 class today so I'm trying to sleep in!" Sasuke hollered back.

"But Sakura's sick and I think it's all that idiot brother of yours' fault," Ino sulked, smacking the door one more time. There was a long silence before the door cracked open and one brown eye glared out at her.

That night, Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, and Sasori, all went to take their showers and instead had soup stock poured out all over them. Snickering to each other, Ino and Sasuke marveled over their own genius in putting bouillon cubes in the shower heads.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL!" Deidara roared, skidding into the hallway with a towel hastily wrapped around his lower half. The smell of soup radiating off him was enough to send Ino into another fit of wild giggles.

"What do you mean?" asked Sasuke in a lazy drawl.

"This is going too far, man! LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" Deidara snarled. But Sasuke just raised an eyebrow.

"You dumped paint on my friend, ruined her coat, and then got her sick and now you're saying **I've **gone too far?" Ino shot back, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"She's sick?" Itachi demanded, wringing his hair as he stalked out of the bathroom also smelling strongly of soup. At his words, two other heads peeked out of the bathroom. Their looks of outrage slowly melted as they looked around at each other.

The next morning, Ino opened up the door and found a basket sitting in the hall. There was no note, no card. But inside was a bottle of cold medicine, a package of lozenges, packets of tea, a few ripe oranges, and a box of tissues. Smirking, Ino dropped the gift basket at the foot of her roommate's bed. Sakura blew her nose before she eyed the present carefully.

"Looks like a peace offering," Ino finally said. Rolling her eyes, Sakura pulled the covers over her head.

"Oops. One more thing," the blonde added as she looked up at the doorway. A sighing Sakura pulled the blankets back to find one Uchiha Itachi standing there, something white draped over his right arm.

"Sorry…about your coat. We all chipped in to buy you a new one," Itachi finally said, gently placing the coat next to the basket. Lips pursed, Sakura stared at the foot of her bed for a while. Her gaze darted to Ino who also seemed to be deep in thought. After a moment, Ino threw her arms into the air.

"This is stupid. You're too perfect. I'm going to get some coffee," Ino huffed before she stomped out.

"Whose idea was it to pour ice water out a window anyway?" Sakura suddenly asked while she watched her friend leave.

"Deidara's. Any verbal or physical abuse should be directed at him," he promptly replied without any visible remorse for throwing his friend under the bus.

"And just so you know, that guy's seriously afraid of dogs," Itachi added in after a second of consideration. Sakura eyed his stoic expression.

"You're sort of evil aren't you?" she guessed.

He nodded.

"Good."


End file.
